It's All About Relationships
Bobbie had a problem. She needed to pull together a team of people to help her with a project at work and she knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Her boss had already tried to solicit help via email and wasn’t having any luck, or any takers who raised their hand to volunteer. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do, but she began to look at the project more closely and decide what kind of experts she would need and about how many. Then she started thinking of the people she knew in the office. Names started coming to mind and she was forming a plan. Over the next few days, as she bumped into people in the break room and in her hallways strolls that she did daily, she asked for participation personally and then also asked who others knew that might be able to lend a hand. Before the close of business on the second day, she had a full team of committed people willing to help Bobbie specifically, pretty much without regard to the project or its level of difficulty, but because Bobbie herself had asked. When she reported back to her boss saying the team was lined up, he immediately asked her how she did it. All Bobbie could do was smile and say “I suppose I called in a few favors and just have a really good network of supporters. We will make a great team.” If only everyone knew this about teams and people. It is all about relationships. Everything we do is about relationships and most of the time they are not forged just over email or a phone call. They take time, attention, devotion, giving, and effort. What are you doing to foster and grow the relationships that will stand up, raise their hand, and help you with your next project or problem just because YOU asked? Here are a few pointers if you are not sure where to begin with that effort:
Be Available
We are all busy. There’s no question that we are all running the hamster wheel at record breaking speed. Yet, it is often those who are most successful who are the most available and make the time. Next time someone asks for your help and genuinely needs it, say yes. Make yourself available and give of your time and your efforts. This isn’t something you do because you want them to pay you back. It’s something you do because it’s the right thing to do and with that attitude you will increase your network and your relationships.
Be Kind
While it’s true some days we can’t always control our emotions or actions, most of the time we can. And while there are also days when we would really like to come through the phone and throttle the living dickens out of someone who doesn’t realize how much of a hurry we’re in or don’t have time for something, the key is to be kind anyway. Suck it up and be kind and try to put yourself in that other person’s position. For some this comes naturally, for others this is effort. Wherever you live, work on it.
Be Honest
In a time when so many ARE so busy, those who over-commit and don’t do what they say they are going to do are becoming more and more prevalent. Stand out by being honest about your commitments and what you can do or will do for someone else. It’s okay to offer if you really are going to do it. Follow up when you say you will and follow through on those times to which you commit. You will begin to be seen as a trusted resource and a valuable member of a team. That will help you to build a relationship based on a strong foundation of trust and commitment. (Which also means that it is okay to say no sometimes when your plate runneth over. At least it’s honest.)
Be You
Somewhere along the way, we got the message that we had to be like, act like and conform to the standards of someone else in order to be liked or accepted. It probably happened somewhere in childhood, but for now, remind yourself of the importance of being authentic and remember that even if just 1% of the population likes you for who you are, you are still looking at what 610 million friends in the world. That is more than your Facebook account will hold, but also a good reminder that not everyone has to like you and that is okay. The key is to build relationships and friendships that are real and will count when it matters. Life is messy and it moves faster than a speeding bullet most of the time. We can’t do it all, all the time, by our little lonesome and the ones who think they can, well, we learned that lesson painfully some time ago. We need each other, but we also have to help each other, be available to each other, and be real with each other. Now, what’s stopping you from building a new relationship or solidifying an old one today… like right now?
About the Author
Monica Wofford, CSP is the CEO of Contagious Companies, Inc, an Orlando based training and consulting firm. Her 20 years of leadership experience makes her a highly sought after coach, consultant, speaker and trainer in both Corporate America and the Healthcare and Retail industries.
To learn more about Monica and her learning resources, or to contact her directly, go to www.monicawofford.com or www.contagiouscompanies.com or call 1-866-382-0121.